The Best Days of our Lives
by sonicXben
Summary: Harry Potter is getting married. He and his band of friends are going to America to not only hold the wedding, but also throw the wildest party the West Coast has ever seen. The problem? They have enemies left and right that want nothing more than to break the couple up permanently. What else will Harry and his friends do but party like it is 1999? [Finished re-writing]
1. Chapter 1: The Beginning

**3rd Person POV:  
**

Today is going to be an entertaining day for one Harry Potter.

He and the love of his life, Ginny Weasley, decided to send letters their friends, asking them kindly to meet at the Leaky Cauldron pub today at noon to make a big announcement. Together, holding hands, we walk down the busy streets of the muggle's side of London, with the sun shining behind the semi-cloudy sky. Up ahead and sandwiches between the most ordinary stores in London lays the entrance to a famous yet disgusting pub, but like the first time the couple came down this street, no one else on the street pays it any attention, most likely since they can't see it. Even though all is well, the duo would occasionally look behind my shoulder to see if someone is following them, Harry especially.

After all, it has only been a year since the Second Wizarding War occurred against the Dark Lord Voldemort, a war which nearly took over Magical Britain and inevitable shaped the fate of the whole world. Fortunately, as a result of the Battle of Hogwarts and many sacrifices, not only did he die for good, but the Death Eaters who didn't secede from their evil way were thrown into Azkaban and every innocent person who was thrown in there were immediately released. Right now, aside from what is about to happen, Harry is excited since he is about to get something that he hasn't really gotten in a long time; how to get let loose.

Harry swings open the door to the pub and Ginny walks right in with a nod of gratitude, Harry following. Like every other time they have been inside, it is full to the brim with seedy-looking witches and wizards having drinks or eating some weird food like usual. And Harry could have sworn he saw an eyeball inside of a cup that an old man with his cloak pulled down so far his face is shadowed is drinking from. "Hey, over here." A familiar voice calls out. He takes his attention away from and look to the corner and notice, to my delight, my best friend Ron Weasley sitting there, along with his older twin brothers Fred and George Weasley, Neville Longbottom and Draco Malfoy. After He saved Draco's sorry ass from the Fiendfyre, they decided to at least try and be friends. While there are some rough points where they bicker, it has actually worked out better than either of them expected. On the opposite side of the room, all of Ginny's friends, composed of Hermione Granger, Luna Lovegood, Hannah Abbot and Susan Bones, are also waiting with curious looks, no doubt wondering what this big news is. Letting go of Ginny's hand, they both go to our separate tables to talk with our friends.

"So, what's this big news you were talking about, Harry? Tell us, mate, tell us." Ron asked, eagerness in his voice. Contrary to popular belief, he's struggled through life with his older brothers and never really had friends before their first ride to Hogwarts, being stuck at home pretty much all day, every day. This includes Draco as well, but on a much more serious degree.

Harry sits down at the head of the table and takes several deep breaths. He then waves his re-formed Phoenix wand to cast a privacy ward, since the whole pub doesn't need to hear what's going to happen. If they did, no doubt the paparazzi would come after Harry again. After many years of wrangling with the truth, he now admits it; the paparazzi suck, each one fawning over each word he says like people listening to the goddamn Pope's words. This, among other reasons, is why Dumbledore sent Harry to the Dursleys, though he still holds a twinge of resentment over the decision.

"Alright, I will cut to the chase. Ginny and I... we are getting married." Harry states to the group, a smile forming. They stare at him as if their friend has grown a second head, but then started patting him on the back.

"Congratulations, mate. I wish you the best." Neville said, smiling happily. Harry can't help but mentally wince as he remembers that same giddiness after getting deeply injured from his time as a student under the Carrow siblings, who were really nasty Death Eaters hired to teach the younger generation the Death Eater's views. Thankfully, they are trapped in Azkaban now along with the vile Delores Umbridge.

"So, where are you getting married at?" Draco asked, curiosity on that topic getting the better of him.

This is going to be the part that will be entertaining. "Because we have spent so much time in Britain, we decided we need to have a change in scenery. In three days, we're going to get married in North America in a place called California."

Everyone in the group looks honestly surprised by what Harry had also said, but nod their heads in understanding. Then they all start grinning widely. "We're heading to the beaches, right? I've heard from Dad that California has some real nice beaches." George said, a dreamy look on his face. Fred nods, also looking happy. Such looks are rare since the last Wizarding War, when Fred nearly got killed, he would be dead if he didn't notice the curse coming at him. Now they still joke around a lot, but they are now much more wary.

"Yeah, and you know what that means, mates. It's party time!" Ron nearly shouts, before Draco harshly shushes him. After all, one with the power of magic can truly do remarkable things.

"Yes. I think that given all of the stress that we have been under, I think that having some fun for the next few days would be nice. But don't take this the wrong way; just because Ginny and I will be committed doesn't mean that we won't get to hang out. We will still be able to go to Quidditch matches every Friday night, and we will still be able to live out our lives as we see fit." Harry replies, getting that off his chest.

They all look very relived to hear that piece of news. "Well, what are we waiting on? Let's get this show on the road." Ron says excitedly. Even Neville looks eager to get going. Once Harry disables the small protection ward, they all get up and walk out of the Leaky Cauldron. By that point, Ginny has also finished going over our plans with the girls as they also got up and are walking towards the door as well.

The group walks out the backdoor and head into Diagon Alley. Once the group makes their way to a side-alleyway, they apparate out of the Alley, all of them holding hands in case one of their crew is inexperienced with the process. They arrive to the Burrow, where Harry is temporarily staying until he can properly inherit Potter Manor. As they enter the house, Harry and Ginny are greeted by the bear-like embrace of Mrs. Weasley.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Diagon Alley and under the table where Harry and his friends sat, an artificial ear is pulled out via invisible string and towards a nearby table where eight cloaked figures are sitting around. Once the ear is in one of the people's hands, they make their way up to their room upstairs and sit down on the beds. They fling their hoods back, revealing several of the soon-to-be couple's most hated people: Ginny's ex-boyfriends, Michael Corner and Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Pansy Parkinson, Lavender Brown, the muscle of the group Gregory Goyle, their make-shift leader Justin Finch-Fletchly, and Harry Potter's ex-girlfriend Cho Chang. "I knew it. That fool thinks he can stick his dick into any girl he wants; well, we'll see about that." Justin says, anger and a hint of lunacy on his face. He has always despised Harry's ways, seeing him as that arrogant asshole who does whatever he wants and gets off scot-free; and after years of being punished for things Harry did, like getting petrified by a basilisk or getting tortured by the Carrows throughout his seventh year at Hogwarts certainly didn't help matters. He wants nothing more than to see Harry to be that crazy, lonely old man no-one likes.

Dean and Cho look at each other incredulously. They dated each side of the to-be couple, and while the duo didn't exactly have the best times with Harry or Ginny, they certainly agree that their former dates don't deserve to be on the receiving end of a romance-loving Justin.

"So, what do we plan on doing?" Michael Corner asks curiously. Out of the whole group, he is the most neutral of the beliefs. Although he does believe Ginny can do better than being with someone like Harry Potter.

"It's simple. We're going to follow them to this California, ending that madness and saving my Draco." Pansy answers, a determined look on her face. She wouldn't normally take part in this, but since Draco's been hanging out with Harry more often and has started to show feelings for one of the guests at the upcoming wedding, a younger woman named Astoria Greengrass, Pansy is now an avid supporter of Justin's new-found delusions.

"So, Revengers, it's settled. Who's with me, aye or nay!"

"Uh, which one means yes?" Goyle asks, scratching his head in confusion.

Justin lets out a sigh while staring at the ceiling in exasperation. "Aye."

"Aye!" Everyone shouts enthusiastically, though Dean and Cho are only halfheartedly, disbelieving that this is actually happening and genuinely dreading what is about to happen next.

* * *

 _AN:_ Welcome to the revamped version of a wild story I came up with a while ago; and yes, this is my one and (most likely) only actual crack-fic. My take on Harry Potter in a story that could possibly follow canon and have partying in it.

Just to be clear, this will kind of be a mish-mash of Tom Hanks films and concepts, rolled into this. I really do hope you enjoy this.

I will see you next time when the gangs go to California, and meet a certain surfer and motorcyclist from two of my personal favorite comedies of all times.

Revised: 18/3/27


	2. Chapter 2: Settling In

**3rd Person POV:**

Not even one day into the bachelor party, and already things have started to go wrong.

It all started when Harry and his friends had settled into the Burrow for the day so as to arrive at California at a decent time, one hour before the girls were ready to go. Of course, Molly Weasley and her husband Arthur were wary of Draco's presence and the tension between the matriarch and the blonde-haired boy forced Harry to prevent a true stand-off. Under a rather cold atmosphere, they headed to the Department of Magical Transportation wearing baggy shirts and torn jeans and everything they need for the next few days in backpacks on their backs. Naturally, Draco had a difficult time adjusting to the clothes or the weight on his shoulders.

When they reached the Ministry Department and asked for transportation to the American state, they were subjected to a half-hour long rant, with spit flying all over the place, about how the Ministry employee would rather go to the mountains of Russia than California, and how he got screwed out of a thousand galleons at a nearby casino. Fortunately, that came to an end when his boss decided to intervene and dismissed the red-faced dude. He then led the group to a side room where the portkey was waiting for them. Unfortunately, the friends found out too late that the people in charge of enchanting the portkey in the form of a rusted tin can from 1969 had screwed up by forgetting to do one of the final checks for the portkey.

One thing led to another, and it was all tied together in a wild fashion...literally.

"Keep your hands away from me." Draco says.

"Yeah? Well, get your butt out of my face, you pompous ass." Ron retorts, his voice muffled.

"I'll kill you for making that comment."

"Not if I kill you first."

"Harry, that's my arm you're pulling." Neville protests, sounding a little agitated.

"Dudes. What's this, and why is it so soft?" George asks before looking up and seeing Fred's face, looking horrified. The twins then start screaming in terror.

It took several minutes, but the human knot was eventually pulled apart via magic by several employees wearing more modern clothes, like black suits and hats that were worn in the late 1920s. Many of them were trying hard to hold off snickers, but that suddenly ceased when a man who looks to be their superior, wearing an even-more crisp black suit steps forward, his grey hair framing his pale face. "Thank you for coming to California. We do hope that you enjoy your stay." He says, then adds, "Follow me."

He then leads the group of friends out of the hall, down the subterranean hallway lined with concrete rather than stone slabs, and towards a small wooden desk where an elderly woman is sitting there looking at them. "Hello. How may I help you?"

"Yes, I had rented a large 2-bedroom cabin for tonight." Harry speaks up, too focused on the elderly woman to notice Ginny and her fellow bachelorettes coming out of another corridor.

The woman looks over her records, nodding as she goes through, before looking up. "You're all checked out, Mr..."

"Potter. Harry Potter."

"Ah, Mr. Potter. We do hope you enjoy your stay here. If you would follow Auror Jones, he will take you to your portkey and your reservation." The Auror in question stares at them with a strange glint in his dark brown eyes before turning around and walking away from them. Harry can't help but feel on edge with this man, but follows him anyway. The rest of the bachelors do so and arrive at yet another portkey chamber, but this one has a giant surfboard sitting on a pedestal.

The main group look at each other, not wanting to use a portkey so soon after last time. "Relax." Haywood says with almost a purr in his voice. "We are not arrogant like those British bastards are. Come, and reach ascension."

Neville looks at Haywood warily but decides to risk it and touches the surfboard with the others.

All they can see is a flash of white light for a brief moment before they can truly see again. When they do look around, they find themselves in a large wooden cabin with a massive living room that can hold several dozen people in it, with a kitchen on one side of the living room is a small kitchen and on the other end of the room are two doors that lead to separate bedrooms. Between each door is an old-style television set with a pair of antennae sticking up in opposite directions. The wooden cabin is finished with two brown leather chairs and a couch sitting on a oval-shaped rug, and on their right are sliding windows that provide a wide view of the beaches below.

"I could live here." Ron says, walking over and plopping himself on the couch. He then adds, "Why is it so hard?"

"Reminds me of my house." Neville adds, touching the edge of the television set in curiosity.

"Okay, everyone. I know that this is a nice suite, but if we're going to have a good time, we need to get serious." Harry says, then pulls a roll of parchment out of the back jeans pocket. "Let's see; according to everyone I have talked to, there are some necessities for the party. They include over three dozen bottles of alcohol for all and we can hire a few strippers."

"What's a stripper?" Neville asks, confused as he hadn't heard that term before.

"They're absolutely nuts. And that's a bloody good idea." Ron replies, standing up. "I'll hire a few of them to come here."

"Fine. You do that." Draco adds, his face impassive. "I'm going to see exactly what this place has to offer." He then looks at Neville. "Want to come?" The round-faced boy nods in agreement.

"Drinks are on us!" Fred and George shout in unison.

"Thanks, guys. You can leave your bags here; I'll organize everything." Harry says, then swishes his wand and pulls the bags towards him. He then reaches into his bag and pulls out a rather large wad of dollars he converted from turning in 3 galleons at Gringotts the day before.

"Thanks, Harry. See you later." Neville says, then they all run out the door and go their separate ways while Harry smirks slightly and gets to work unpacking everything.

* * *

Neville Longbottom and Draco Malfoy are walking down the street, passing by many people who raise an eyebrow at the boys before continuing to the large beach on their right where hundreds of people are already on surfboards and riding the waves. They stare at the packed beach in slight awe, since the only other time they have seen a place that packed was the Quidditch World Cup stadium. Neville's attention is then drawn to a small wooden shack on the edge of the wooden pier in the middle of the beach. It is a small one-story building with a wooden surfboard hanging horizontally, with the words _My Junk Shop_ stuck to it. "You wanted to see a gift shop, there's one!" Neville speaks up.

Draco takes notice also, and has to fight a scoff. "That's not what I had in mind when I went to look for one."

"Aw, come on. It could be interesting." Neville replies. Draco scoffs slightly but decides to go along with his semi-friend. They make their way along the dock and towards the shop. But as Draco pulls on the door, it suddenly flies off the hinges and crashes to the ground.

Draco stares at the door as it lies on the deck with wide eyes before entering. It is an even smaller shop inside filled with tons of surfboards, fins, snorkel gear, various types of swim apparel, and many rows of fishing rods.

"Hey dudes, welcome." A voice said. They turn our attention from the wooden rows of fishing rods and notice a man with shoulder-length blonde hair and a slightly muscular build who is polishing a surfboard.

"Who are you?" Draco says, resisting the urge to whip out his wand.

"Jeff Spicoli's the name I was given. How can I help you dudes out?" He asked, leaning against the wall.

"I would like to get that surfboard you've got there." Neville tells the surfer.

"Looks like it's going to cost you 100 bucks." Spicoli said.

Draco nearly gags at that. "That's not a price. That's daylight robbery!"

"They're righteous bucks, dude. I polish these babies myself with baby diapers each day."  
"We'll take it." Neville says, not wanting to get into anymore detail than necessary. Spicoli takes the wad of cash and hands the board to Draco, who takes and starts storming out of the shop.

"Hang ten, dudes." Spicoli said before Neville follows out the door. He then sighs and makes his way to the backroom so as to finally have a good time.

* * *

Ronald Weasley is anxious. After asking around for god-knows-how-long by that point, he makes his way down a dark alley to a small yet famous strip joint.

As he walks down the streets, he can't help but notice several things that line the sides of the tall concrete buildings on either side. The ground is covered in small puddles, litter cakes the ground, with little rubbers sticking out among the rest. Ron doesn't spare much attention to the littered streets as he notices the destination. It is a tucked-in, one-story building with a big neon sign above the double doors that spells out _Charlie's Sluts_. The top of the building has a red neon mage of three women holding either a pair of handcuffs, a whip, or a pistol. Ron can feel a little drool falling out of his mouth as he stares at the neon signs of the clearly nude women but then focuses on the front of the building, where a seedy-looking man with brown skin and a black mustache over his upper lip.

"Yeah, white boy? What do you want?" The man asks coldly.

"I'd like to hire a stripper for a bachelor party that I'm a part of." Ron says bluntly, a little offended by the man's attitude.

His beady eyes glares at Ron for a moment before he sighs. "Fine. Just be lucky that May is available for hire. But she's not cheap."

"How much are we talking for one night at our cabin?"

"I want no less than 600 dollars. If you can handle my price."

Ron nearly gags at hearing that, but he reluctantly pulls out the entire wad of money he has on him and hands it to the man. He looks at it and counts the money with a greedy look in his eyes.

"Well, whitey, looks like I underestimated you. I will send my stripper to your place for the day. But I must warn you, boy. I want my stripper back by tomorrow night. If you don't oblige..." He then nods his head. From out of the shadows steps another man that Ron failed to notice before. Unlike the first person, this guy is at least a head taller and twice as muscular. "My brother here is a known wrestler. And he will come after your ass."

Ron gulps slightly at the threat, nods his ascent, and starts walking away from the strip joint, satisfied but a little intimidated.

* * *

Fred and George Weasley are sitting on the circular seats that sit in front of a long wooden bar, while a dozen people are sitting around circular tables or the bar and talking. "So, new guys." Fred and George turn around simultaneously to look at the bartender, a skinny man with pale skin, his black hair stuck up in a mo hawk and one of his front teeth on the right side is completely missing. "What can I get you guys?"

"Mate, what's your best drink?" Fred asks.

"We can make your time worth it." George finishes with a wide smile.

The bartender looks surprised by their sync but manages a smile. "Well, my new friends, we have the biggest collection of tequila that you'll find in the nearest 100 yards. The gold shit."

"Well, then we'd like to buy it all, friend." Fred and George say simultaneously.

Once again, the bartender looks surprised. "All right. I like someone who knows what they want. You certainly kick more ass than most of these losers here."

As he gets to work, another man with a thick brown mustache that curves up also looks at them. He is wearing a pair of aviator glasses, is wearing a green helmet from World War 1, along with a thick yet worn brown jacket over a flannel shirt and jeans. "I already know what you're up to. You're having a party, aren't you?"

At the word 'party,' everyone shuts up what they are talking about and listen into this conversation closely. Fred and George look at each other before deciding to spill it. "Yeah. Our friend has a bachelor party tonight."

The man they are talking to just stares for a second before grinning widely. "Tell you boys what. I can help show you guys have a good time at your party tonight."

"Me too." another patron says, a woman in her mid-40s with greasy brown hair who is sitting at the bar with a glass of whiskey in her hands. "I can show you some moves you've never seen before."

"It's true." The bartender whispers. "She's an ex-porn star. She knows it all."

"Well, if you all insist, mates." Fred says.

Everyone in the bar starts cheering loudly and also shout their ascent at joining. "Looks like you've sparked some life into this crowd." The bartender says, then hands the plastic doll to George.

The twins look at the doll then look at each other and grin widely. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Gred?"

"That this would make a great gift for dear Ronnikens? It's almost perfect, Forge."

* * *

LAPD chief Gideon Bryant sets the paper that is in his hands down and lets out a deep sigh, pinching his nose. The police chief had hoped for just one weekend that was peaceful and quiet. But it was not to be.

He then looks up as two other policemen enter the room. He smiles at the sight of the duo that busted the perpetrator of some of the most bizarre crimes he had ever heard of. "Sergeant Joe Friday. And Sergeant Pep Streebeck."

"You wanted to see us, sir?" Friday asks.

"Indeed." Bryant answers. "I am of the understanding that you two are in desperate need of a new assignment."

"Well, I wouldn't put it quite like that..." Streebeck starts, but Bryant cuts them off.

"Shut up, 'cause I have a new assignment for y'all. I have been receiving reports from all over the city that a bunch of goddamn Brits are having a bachelor party. I want you to infiltrate this party and air them out."

"It's a bachelor party. What isn't fun there?" Streebeck says, but Friday nudges him.

"What do we do if things go too far then?" Friday asks.

"Then bust their asses and haul them here. In this city, if you're not willing to just roll over, then you will be crushed like an ant. And this ant will not be stepped on."

* * *

 _AN:_ The buildup is almost over, and the party is about to begin.

Before you say anything, I just felt like introducing Jeff Spicoli and D-Day (who was the one in the bar) in their most probable job was essential.

For any of you who don't know who Jeff Spicoli is, he was played by Sean Penn in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," which is a really great movie. And D-Day is from "Animal House," a true masterpiece in the comedy genre.

PS: I know that Ron is not a pervert, but since I've been seeing more non-crackfic HP stories that feature a perverted Ron these days, I decided to satire that.

Anyway, I will see you all next chapter.

Revised: 18/4/12


	3. Chapter 3: Stirring Up Havoc

**3rd Person POV:**

Harry Potter lets out a slight sigh as the last touches are laid out at the cabin. Something in his gut just tells him that this is going to be a long night. He looks around the cabin and smiles slightly at his own handiwork. The couches and chairs had all been moved aside to make room for whatever may happen.

But as Harry tries to reassure himself that everything is going to turn out alright, he then looks out the window. He could very well be paranoid, but he could have sworn he was being watched a second ago. After shrugging off the feeling, he plops himself on the couch and waits for his friends to make it... if they survived half the things Harry heard about before he booked the cabin.

* * *

Meanwhile, over at a completely different cabin, Ginny and her friends gathered around for their bachelorette party. They have been playing board games like Scrabble for hours, and while some like Hermione are just barely warming up, some of the others like Ginny have started to get bored. "Ginny, it's your move." Hermione says, looking at her friend.

The red-haired girl just lets out a sigh. "Sorry, but I'm kind of losing interest in this. Do we have anything else to do?"

"Well, you can either be bored..." Hermione answers hotly, "Or we can watch the greatest entertainment produced by muggles: movies." She then pulls out a box for a movie called _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_.

"Well, then, put it in." Ginny said. Hermione got up, put it into the VHS tape and turns on the TV. Within seconds, the movie starts.

* * *

Harry continues laying on the couch when he suddenly hears a loud knocking on the door. The black-haired young man just lays on his back and lets out a loud groan, already guessing as to who it is. "No, I do not want any Girl Scout cookies. So piss off." The knock comes back, louder than before. Harry, growls loudly and stands up. "I swear, if you're not gone by the time I get there, I'm going to give you all an all-natural ass-kicking!"

A moment of silence passes before the sounds of a large motor engine revving to life. Harry's eyes bulge and he jumps to the ground as the door is knocked off its hinges, splinters flying in all directions, as a lunatic wearing a WW1-style helmet drives a motorcycle into the cabin. He whoops loudly in triumph, then kicks off the engines. Suddenly, dozens of other people come waltzing in and talking with each other excitedly, with a certain duo coming in at the back.

"Hey, mate!" Fred shouts, smiling widely.

"We decided to bring along some more blighters. To spice things up a little, you know?"

Harry looks at the people and raises an eyebrow. "Fine. But if you guys try to get me with some stripper, I'm out of here."

The trio then look at the doorway, where they see Neville and Draco standing with open mouths. "What is going on here?" Neville asks, warily.

"These jerk-offs decided that bringing some old people to our party was a good idea." Harry answers nonchalantly.

"I beg your pardon, Harry!" Fred snaps nonchalantly.

"These are colorful people. We brought a porn star, an ex-Irish Mafia hit man, and lots of party animals we could learn a thing or two about." George adds, grinning from ear to ear.

"Say, where's Ron?" Harry asks, noticing that his first friend is nowhere to be found.

"I have no idea where he is." Draco replies crisply, not keen on the idea of strippers also coming over.

"Hey! Why are we just standing around and jerking each other off?" D-Day shouts, getting their attention. He then pulls out a bottle of tequila. "Give me a second to whip this out." Several people gasp in surprise until D-Day pulls out a long and jagged knife. He then slashes the lid off the Gold tequila bottle and started drinking. He chugs it down further and further until he finishes the last drop. "It's party time!" He then lets out a loud whoop and throws the bottle out the window while everyone begins roaring in applause.

* * *

Pansy Parkinson is staring into the window, her face scrunched up in disgust at seeing Draco affiliating with the others. "What are they doing?" Justin whispers sharply.

But before Pansy could answer, she hears a loud whoop. As she turns her head to see what's going on now, she notices a large glass bottle flying directly at her face. All she can really do is widen her eyes in horror before the bottle hits her in the forehead. She lets out a grunt before falling backward and fainting from the impact of a bottle shattering on her face.

"Oh my God. What happened to her?" Cho asked.

"Someone in the group hit her with a bottle. Caused by Potter, no doubt." Justin explained, then laid Pansy out flat. "Let's get out of here before we are spotted."

Goyle then starts dragging Pansy away, with the rest of the Revengers make their escape, not noticing that they are being watched by a shaded man standing at the window of another cabin. "Uh, what are we going to do now?" Goyle asks.

"We need to find a strategic advantage. I have no doubt that if they don't use magic, they will use other means to fight us. Whether I want to admit it or not, Potter's got a good throwing arm. All we need to do now is wait for Potter to let his guard down; then we strike when he fucks up." Just then, they heard the sounds of singing from the cabin accompanied with loud blaring music.

"Just what in the name of Merlin are they doing in there?" Michael Corner wonders aloud as they continue making their way towards a safe place...wherever that is.

* * *

 _AN:_ So, the party has barely begun and the bachelors have already pissed off the Revengers. That's not too good.

I will see you next time when the bachelors get even wilder.

 _Revised: 18/4/23_


	4. Chapter 4: Going to Town

**3rd Person POV:**

After the Revengers ran into the woods after the fireworks went off, they began making all new plans on what to do.

"OK. So for now, those bastards will be on the move and we can't get them for now. What do we do to pass the time?" Justin asked his group. He didn't want to just sit around and wait for anything. They had parties to crash!

"So what do we do, then?" Goyle asks, setting the still-unconscious Pansy on the ground.

"How about you put any goddamn thoughts into your thick brain for once?" Seamus Finnigan barks angrily.

"Enough!" Justin barks. "This bickering is pointless. Now, if we could find a way to screw with the neighbors and blame it on Harry's brood, then we could get them arrested and ruin his big day."

"I think I like that idea." Dean admits, grinning widely. He then notices bunches of bags lying on the side of the house carelessly, full of fireworks. "And that is how we will do it."

"Well, then what are we waiting for?" Lavender asks shrilly, "Let's get some costumes and scare the life out of these muggle neighbors."

* * *

Harry Potter is steadily losing himself to the loud ringing of music played a British band called the Rolling Stones decades before, while people singing and dancing to it.

Not even he knows how long they've been at it, but he doesn't really care about it. And the bottle of tequila he already had wasn't helping matters. "Bloody hell!" A familiar voice says rather loudly. Harry then turns around and Ron Weasley is standing in the frame of the doorway, staring the the motorcycle that had been set against the wall. Standing next to him is a huge woman, easily over six feet tall, with dark skin and wearing nothing but a flashy golden bikini and holding giant feathers in her hands. "What is going on in here?"

"We're only having the best party I've been to in years." D-Day says, stepping forward, "But now that you've brought a stripper, things just got more intense."

Just then, two more people enter the house. They are dressed in a most bizarre manner; one is wearing a flannel shirt and fluffy brown pants with a fishnet over his head while his partner is wearing a brown vest under a flashy brown jacket with a cherry red mohawk to stand out greatly from his blonde hair. "I heard there's a party going down in this area. You wouldn't know anything about it, would you?" The man with the mohawk asks.

"You're at the right place." Harry says, deciding to humor these guys.

"No! You don't get to mooch off of our stash without something to offer." Someone in the crowd shouts.

The duo then look at each other then back at the crowd. "We have beer kegs to offer for this party."

"Oh, so that's what you were hauling up the hill." Ron exclaims like he just understood. "Also, what's beer?"

* * *

LAPD Chief Gideon Bryant and another Los Angeles officer stare up at the cottages from the black and white police car they are sitting in. "Chief, do you think that Sergeants Friday and Streebeck will be able to bust this bachelor party?"

Bryant glares harshly at his subordinate officer for daring to speak out of line. "They may be rusty, but they are the best damn officers I've seen in a long time. I have no doubt they will complete the objective and have those fucking bachelors strung up by the balls and in my jail. There have been an increase in homicides and more drugs have been reported to being smuggled here ever since they got here."

"How do you know they're involved?"

"Don't question my logic, officer. I know they're responsible; and I will find the proof soon enough. Now get going."

Without another word, the two officers then start driving away from the cabins, with Bryant smirking all the way.

* * *

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"

This is what the whole crowd is chanting as the man who introduced himself as Streebeck starts chugging from a beer keg. While Harry is excite to see a drinking competition in action, the purebloods stare with wide eyes. After a long eight seconds, Streebeck pulls away from the hose and lets out a long groan. Everyone starts cheering loudly at the challenge that is over. "What is the point of this?" Draco asks, genuinely baffled.

"It's done for fun. Or so I've heard." Harry mutters to Draco, making the white-haired man look more surprised.

"Bloody hell. I want to give this a shot." Ron speaks up, but as he makes his way to the keg, the rather tall stripper steps in front of him.

"Good evening, boys." She says with a thick foreign accent. "Let me show you how this is done." She then steps forward with everyone watching closely. She then bends over, picks up the hose and wraps the hose tip around her mouth with expertise, and twists the nob on the top. She manages to hold the hose in her mouth for one second, then two, then three. By the time she pulls away from the drink, she had held her ground for nearly 17 seconds.

The shock on everyone's face is evident, then everyone, especially D-Day, starts cheering wildly. Without wanting to stick out, the wizards also politely clap. If this moment tells them anything, they are going to be in for a rather entertaining night.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Revengers are ready to put their plan into motion. They are all gathered outside of another cabin that always keeps its curtains closed and all of the fireworks they managed to summon to them positioned for immediate firing.

"Let's teach these muggles their place." Parkinson says triumphantly, thoughts of getting Draco to finally date her, then whips out her wand. After casting an Incendio spell, she lights the wicks of the fireworks alight. Once the entire two dozen are lit, they start soaring towards the cabin.

Every single firework, ranging from make-shift bottle rockets to skyrockets, hits its target. The entire cabin explodes in a cascade of colors that light up the night sky. "Oh, wait until those residents see the mess." Justin mumbles wickedly, then leads the group away from the main field. Cho Chang and Dean Thomas, however, are horrified by the lengths being taken already to end a simple party.

* * *

Harry Potter lifts up the camera that he purchased hours earlier, taking photo after photo of people drinking madly, making out, or being in rather awkward positions.

He then comes across Fred Weasley who is sitting next to the stripper Ron hired. The two are obviously trading hilarious life stories as Fred continues sipping on one of the last bottles of tequila. "And then, we flew into the classroom and start launching fireworks at the stupid example of a self-defense class. You should have seen her stupid face when she was running away; oh, she hated that we pranked her in her own class." He then starts laughing a little crazily, starting to show signs of being affected by how much alcohol he's already consumed.

The stripper then starts laughing crazily, also a little smashed. "That is the dumbest woman I have ever heard."

They share a moment of silence before Fred whispers something in her ear. She starts smiling widely before they also start kissing. It eventually turns into a make-out session and gets so intense that they start backing through the cabin, barely avoiding other people who are dancing to the music that is still blaring from the juke box that Harry dug out of a closet. They make it into one of the last bedrooms that isn't already occupied and shut the door.

Harry can't help but chuckle. "This just keeps getting better and better." He then notices that there's one last can of beer sitting innocently on the island, just calling his name. Then he takes notice of other people who are looking at the can with envy. "Uh oh, spaggetios." Harry mutters, then all of them start charging toward the island at once, just wanting to get that last beer.

* * *

As the chaos continues to go down, a large pickup truck drives up the hill and arrives at the smoldering cabin. The doors to the truck open up and two people step out. "By Satan's beard, what happened?" The woman asks angrily, staring at the wreck.

Her husband then steps towards the ashes of the cabin and examines the ashes on the ground. "It was burned to the ground. Judging by these ashes, they were burned by a different kind of fire. Most likely from fireworks." He then looks up in the direction of where the fireworks came from; a large wooden, single-story cabin with many lights on.

"I'll take care of our...trash. You nab the bitches who wrecked our home." The woman calls out. He nods and starts making his way towards the truck, pulling the black trash garbage bags out of the truck and delicately setting it under a thick pile of wood.

* * *

Ginny Weasley and her friends are still having a relatively quiet night, though they are starting to get bored. Even Hermione is starting to show signs of losing interest.

"Good night, friends." Luna says, getting up to leave.

"Hey! Don't go yet." Ginny calls out.

"Ginny, I hate to say it, but there's not much we can do that we haven't done right now." Susan Bones points out, thick bags under her eyes.

"Come on. There's lots of things we can do. We just don't" Ginny is then interrupted by a metal cylinder that smashes through one of their windows. The second it touches down on the ground, it lets loose a blinding flash of light.

By the time the witches can see again, Ginny Weasley is missing.

* * *

 _AN:_ As compensation for posting late, I'm posting at a different time than usual.

Next time, there will be some action. Can't wait to write about it.

Later, all.

 _Revised: 18/05/16_


	5. Chapter 5: Retribution

**3rd Person POV:**

The Revengers are walking down the streets of the now-quiet California town, cheering among themselves. "That was the best use of fireworks I've seen in years. Ever since Fred and George's prank on Umbridge." Dean Thomas is saying, trying to slap a high-five to Parkinson. Of course, the pureblood heir just glares at Dean, whom promptly backs off.

"So what do we do now?" Goyle asks, scratching his head slightly.

Justin lets out a long groan, rubbing his temples violently. "We wait for our plan to come to fruition."

"And how do we know if it actually happens?"

Justin whirls around. "Get it through your skull, you oaf. We will have some indication of our triumph; the muggle police will arrest Potter, Ginny finally sees Harry as the reckless bastard he is, or..." He stops talking as he notices a large grey pickup truck roars past them. What really catches Justin's eye is that he sees a familiar flash of red hair as a young woman tries jumping out from the back of the truck, but someone else who is also sitting in the back of the truck gags the woman. "Merlin's beard. Someone's kidnapping Ginny!" He then looks around, noticing a long row of motorcycles standing in a row, waiting. "Get on those. We're chasing after that truck."

"Sorry, but I'm not getting on those." Cho says, "I don't trusted these muggle utensils; I myself the way I am, thank you very much."

Dean catches on to what Cho is going for. "Neither am I. We'll find another way."

"Like what?" Michael Corner asks angrily.

"Like finding a smart way to handle this without getting killed." Cho argues.

"Oh yeah?" Finnigan asks arrogantly. "What other way can you possibly think of, half-blood?"

Their argument is cut short when Justin manages to rev a motorcycle to life. "Fine. I'll rescue Ginny; you catch up." He then spins his motorcycle around and drives down the road.

"What a man." Parkinson says, almost ravishingly.

This comment earned several disgusted looks. "Hey!" They all whirl around and see a buff dude standing on the corner, wearing a sleeveless leather jacket and having a thick silver chain wrapped around his left shoulder. Behind him are a dozen other motorcyclists, all of whom look absolutely pissed off. "What the fuck did you just do?"

Cho and Dean look at each other, then start backing up slowly before running completely. "Hey!" Corner shouts, looking back at the duo who are making their getaway. He then turns around as the motorcycle gang stretches out and starts cracking their knuckles menacingly. "Uh oh."

* * *

Justin Finch-Fletchly is cruising down the empty street on his motorcycle, the wind nearly knocking him off the motorcycle multiple times. Within a minute, Justin catches up with the pickup truck. He whips out his wand from within his brown leather jacket pocket and shouts, "Arresto Momentum!"

The top right tire suddenly stops moving, and the truck starts jerking violently to the left. The truck slams into Justin's motorcycle, knocking him off and having his face slamming into the ground hard. Groggily, he sits up and looks at the beach below. The ruck is completely flipped with its tires sticking into the air, and three people crawling out of it. "Who was that guy?" one of the strangers asks, pulling Ginny onto her feet.

Justin sits up, and lifts up his wand in preparation for attacking these muggles, but notices something that horrifies him; his wand was snapped in the collision. "Well, I'm in trouble now." His face turns mutinous, then stuffs his wand halves back into his jacket and marches down the beach towards the trio.

Ginny notices him and her eyes widen slightly. "Who are you?"

Justin looks at Ginny, his jaw nearly falling off his mouth. "Who the fuck cares who you are?" the captor on the left asks sharply, her face painted a pasty white with black markings along her eyes. "Get him!"

Her partner charges forward, and Justin swings a hook out of instinct. The punch misses terribly and the wizard ends up getting tackled. Justin feels punch after punch impact his face, then Justin pushes against the man's shoulder with all his might. That, and a stroke of dumb luck, allow Justin to push him off. As the attacker returns to the fight, Justin manages to pull a long piece of wood out of the sand and give a wide slash. This time, the impact is much closer, impacting his painted face. He barely even flinches, headbutting Justin and knocking him down again.

"Oh, come on." The female captor says with surprise, throwing Ginny onto the beach. "Relax, honey; I'll take care of that bitch." She then pulls a revolver out of her holster on her belt, pointing it at Justin.

Not even a moment passes before a massive swarm of police cars and tarped military trucks stop on the highway and dozens of police officers and US Marines jump out, pointing their guns at the incident. Overhead, a helicopter blares its spotlight and blinds the kidnappers. "Put down your weapons now and no one gets hurt."

The duo look at each other for a long moment before dropping their weapons. Justin gets up and walks to Ginny as the marines charge forward and violently handcuff the kidnappers.

"I remember you. You're Justin Finch-Fletchly, aren't you? You were a years ahead of me in school?" Ginny asks. "What are you doing out here?"

He rubs the back of his head awkwardly, "Oh, you know. Taking in the sights, living the good life, stuff like that."

Ginny looks at him suspiciously. "You never enjoyed that kind of stuff. So why are you soooo... wait, are you stalking me?"

"...I know how it must look, but I assure you, it's not..." He doesn't get to finish his thought before Ginny slaps him across the face. This last impact knocks the halfblood wizard out cold.

"Never took you for a stalker." Ginny says, pulling her red hair away from her face. She then hears a loud rustling and looks back at the truck; something human-sized is wrapped up in a black garbage bag and lying on the sand. Ginny then walks over to the bag and pulls it open. Inside is a middle-aged man with dark hair and wearing a fancy black suit and tie.

"Thank you, miss. Those two certainly put me in a tough place. My name is Dr. Robert Langdon." He says, brushing himself off.

"You're welcome." Ginny answers, then looks back at the duo who are being pushed into a police car while marines hold rifles inches from their heads. "Who were those guys?"

"They have to be the Screamers. They are apparently mass murderers from Detroit. Those two have been causing the Los Angeles Police Department quite a lot of trouble for some time now. Well, I want to stay and thank you for your help tonight, but I have to attend my former student's presentation in Bilbao." Langdon says, walking towards the police to get his own ride. After a brief exchange and loading up, the police and military beat a hasty retreat with their captives safely locked up.

* * *

When Harry Potter starts to wake up the next morning, his brain starts splitting from pain. He yells a little in agony before attempting to sit up. Despite his vision being clouded and murky, it starts becoming clearer. He notices the sun shining through the windows, and dozens of people, some half-naked, all lay out across the ground and completely passed out.

"Morning, Harry." Ron says, walking right into Harry's view.

"Mornnn…Gah!" Harry then clutches his forehead harshly, which spikes sharply once again.

"I figured this would happen. Here." He then gives me two pills and a glass of water.

Harry takes it, then put the pills in his mouth and downs the water in a single gulp. "Thanks."

"No problem. I almost don't want to know, but what in the bloody hell did we do last night?" He asks, looking a little disturbed by all the people lying around.

Harry tries to recall, but finds something completely unexpected. "I…I don't remember much from last night at all."

* * *

 _AN:_ I watched the 'Burbs this Halloween, so I decided to throw them in as well.

I really don't have much to say right now, so I will see you later.

See you all next time.

 _Revised: 18/05/18_


	6. Chapter 6: Highway Runner

**3rd Person POV:**

Harry lets out a long moan, frustrated by the fact he can't remember anything about the previous night or who in the world those people are. He picks himself up and plops himself on the couch, pushing an unconscious Draco off. As the pureblood's head smacks the ground, his eyes snap open and a greenish-orange vomit comes hurling out of his mouth. "Merlin's beard." he mutters, rubbing the last of the vomit off his chin with his sleeve, then looks around at the masses of people sleeping next to each other. "Did I miss something?"

"You're not the only one." Ron answers, looking a little peaked himself.

"Come on. Let's get Neville up." Harry says, looking through the masses of spread-out body parts. By a stroke of luck, they find him and pull him out of the cabin, which reeks of alcohol one would see again after drinking heavily. After a long while, they find George in one of the rooms seemingly finishing on something. He gets up and walks into the bedroom where Fred is still sleeping in the arms of the stripper Ron hired.

"So…when are we going to get going?" George asks, touching the sides of his head a little in pain. Fred remains silent, looking a little saddened.

"Who cares about that? Where are we going to get breakfast?" Ron asks anxiously.

"Or a place to get cleaned up?" Neville asks, looking down at his grey shirt and grimacing at the huge splotches of crusted vomit all over his shirt.

"Don't worry, guys. We'll pick something up before we hit the highway." Harry says, but Draco interrupts.

"Wait. We don't have a license. So how will we get past the muggle authorities?"

"We'll improvise. For now, we have to get going." After yet another hour of getting our stuff together, they walk out of the condo village and walk down to the road, grabbing a quick bite to eat at a nearby Starbucks, and head to the rental dealer. The night-stay at the cabin has already been paid, so they don't have to return; which is a good thing, considering the mess it is.

Soon, they reach a car dealership and walk onto the lot. Once inside, they are greeted with the face of a greasy brown-haired man. "Hello. How can I help?"

"Yes. We could like to buy a vehicle for a road trip we're taking to San Fransisco." Harry speaks up quickly.

"OK; I know just the one to accommodate you all. You guys going to have a party there?" The sleazy-looking salesman asks.

"Hey, how did you- "

"Come on, I can tell by your faces...and clothes. You know, there was a lot of weird shit going on up in that area just last night?"

"Really?" Fred and George ask innocently.

"Whatever. Can we get our transportation or not?" Draco asks, losing his patience.

"Oh, okay. Thanks for understanding. What do we owe you?" Harry asks, getting out the last wad of bucks he has.

"A million dollars." He then laughs at their dumbfounded expressions, "but I'm just messing with you. It's actually 3,000 dollars. Oh, and before you go, make sure you try and avoid scratching this sucker up; we've had a lot of fun time together." After he took the money and gave Harry a set of car keys, he walks away.

Once he left, the group make our way to the large rusted, yellow and orange Volkswagen Bus. "Alright guys, all aboard." Ron says, then gets into the driver's seat.

"Why do I have such a bad feeling about this?" Draco asks, before getting into the back of the truck anyway. Neville sits on Draco's left on one of the couches already there, and sitting on the opposite side of the bus are Fred and George.

Once they are all settled in, Harry gives the keys to Ron, who slips them into the ignition, and drives the bus out of the parking lot. After traveling down the narrow and windy streets before reaching the main highway that takes them to San Fransisco.

The first hour of the trip starts out without any challenge. But then, a large black Jeep pulls up on their right. The man in the passenger seat rolls down his window, pointing an AK-47 to their faces. "Pull over now, and I won't kill you." He shouts.

"Well, we're dead." Draco said, only to get pummeled by Neville, Fred, and George. Groaning, Ron pulls to the side of the grassy field on the right and he gets out; along with Harry, and both of their hands sin the air. The Jeep then comes to a stop next to them, and out step four armed men. Harry knows instantly that they aren't police, since two of the men are holding AK-47s; a tall, brown-haired woman stands next to them with her hands at the ready, all of whom surround a tall, Asian man with slicked-back black hair in a suit that probably costs more than most wizards earn in a year.

"So…I heard about you getting my clients arrested last night." The Asian man says, his voice holding a heavy Asian accent, as well as being greasy at the same time. In that way, he reminds Harry of Mr. Borgin from all those years ago he accidentally entered his shop.

However, Harry is at a loss. "I'm sorry, I have no idea who you're talking about. I'm having trouble remembering parts of last night, honestly." I said. The rest of my group looks just as confused. Apparently, our drinking caused not just Harry, but all of the others to have absolutely no idea what he's talking about.

The man's face turns to one of anger. "I see. Well, you should know that my employees, paid by my company to kill off my competition in the business world, are all imprisoned. And I know you motherfuckers are behind it. So, taste the cold hand death, ya c-!" The man's words are interrupted by Ron punching the businessman in the mouth. As the gunman are about to fire in retaliation, Harry lunges forward and sucker-punches one of them. While he is recoiling from the surprise attack, the other hitman fires upon the attacker. Ron and Harry barely jump to the side and jump back into the car as bullet holes start penetrating the outside of the bus.

"Go, Ron, go!" Neville is shouting as Ron drives back onto the highway, with the Jeep following closely behind. The left window is rolled down all the way, allowing the gunmen with a broken nose to poke out the window and starts firing again. Cars are swerving in different directions as they dodge the car chase going down.

"You know, we're already taking the piss." Draco says to Harry.

"Oh really, what makes you think so?" Harry asks sarcastically, as they start speeding up to avoid the barrage of bullets. They eventually run into the back of a bright red Mustang. Its passengers start screaming and trying to get out of the way only to swerve violently to the left, resulting in the Mustang spinning along and violently crashing into another car on the opposite side of the highway, causing both cars to erupt into balls of fire.

"This is so bloody awesome!" Fred and George say, grinning at the carnage they are causing.

Harry groans a little, feeling bad for the chaos that is ensuing. "We need to get rid of these buggers. Neville, what do we have back there?" I shout as I drive back into the right-hand lane.

Fred, George and Draco start rummaging through the back before Neville pulls out a box filled with long glass containers with spherical bottoms. "What are these things?" Draco demands.

Fred and George start rummaging through the back pockets and I hear clicking. "Hey. I found a pistol." Fred says. Just then, a new wave of machine gun bullets soar past the bus, making Ron swerve a little out of shock.

"Shoot them in the leg!" Ron shouts as he ducks my head to dodge the gunfire. Harry then grabs the pistol Fred found and once the Jeep comes around for another barrage of gunfire, Harry fires at the driver. The female assistant receives the shot to her shoulder; she lets out a shout of pain.

"Don't you dare, woman!" One of the masked hitmen shouts before the Jeep starts swerving to the right. Unfortunately, they are directly in front of a long concrete barrier lining the road and collide head-first into it. As the Jeep starts flipping upside down to land tires-up on the barrier, one of the back doors opens and the Asian man Ron punched jumps out. He somersaults through the air and lands on top of the bus.

"He's on top of us! Shake him off" Neville shouts, sliding the door open to try and shake the man off completely. The second the side door opens, the Asian man grabs the edge of the roof and drop-kicks Neville in the face. He slams into the back of the bus, blood gushing out of his nose. The Asian dude gets into a low martial arts stance, making a 'bring it' gesture. Draco charges forward, trying to punch his opponent. The Asian man then grabs Draco's outstretched arm, swinging under then elbowing Draco's stomach. As Draco falls to the ground, Fred and George each throw a glass bong at the Asian fighter.

"Judo Punch!" They shout, punching him simultaneously. The surprise strike knocks the Asian dude to the edge of the bus, but he manages to grip the sides.

"You thought you could best me, motherfuckers?" He asks mockingly, only for Draco to pull one of the dude's legs out from underneath him. He then screams, eyes bulging in his sockets, before he falls out.

"Thank Merlin we're done with this madness." Draco says, laying on his back in relief. Neville nods, still holding his nose to stop the bleeding.

"Uh, guys? We're not out of this just yet." Harry says, noticing a dozen police cars with sirens blaring right behind them. One of the police cars pulls up next to them, and someone shouts to them from a megaphone.

"This is Gideon Bryant of the Los Angeles Police Department. Pull over now and we don't hurt you."

"No way that's happening." Ron says, pressing the gas pedal down to the floor. The bus picks up speed dramatically, but the police cars start picking up speed as well to try and keep up.

"You have made a grave mistake!" Bryant answers harshly, pulling a shotgun from the center of the car, pointing it at Ron's head. Harry looks around desperately for any way out of the situation they're in. He then notices the one thing that they are quickly approaching a construction site for a tall overpass.

"Go to the overpass!" Harry shouts, "It's our only chance." Ron looks at where Harry is pointing, and nods. The redhead then swerves onto the overpass. It groans in protest, but manages to remain standing.

"Sir! Look!" The police driver said, who is watching the scene with wide eyes. "What the…"

"Don't gawk! Follow them!" Bryant orders, sick of being mocked. The driver almost protests, but also guns the police car as it goes onto the overpass.

The bus continues going as fast as it can, approaching the edge. "Hold on to your butts!" Ron shouts as he continues the chase. Eventually, the bus smashes through the wooden barricades and flies off the edge.

"Yaaahooo!" Everyone shouts simultaneously as the bus starts falling downward, bumping violently as it impacts the ground.

"I love this trip!" Ron shouts with excitement, straightening out the bus and continues its drive down the highway. Bryant's car also flies off the edge, but it lands on its side and crashes into the ground, scraping the ground until it comes to a stop, still on its side.

"Well, at least Sergeants Friday and Streebeck found the drugs you sent them out to do." The driver says.

"Just shut up." Bryant growls out, looking back up at the overpass where the other police cars are desperately trying to back up and not fall off the overpass, causing lots of confusion on the process. Bryant, in a fit of anger, slams his fists into the glove compartment in front of him.

Meanwhile, the four passengers in the back of the bus are slapping each other high-fives, congratulating each other on getting out of a sticky situation. "Nice job, guys. Now what do we do now?" Draco asks, looking at his friends happily. Meanwhile, Harry and Ron are staring in front of them as they reach the top of the hill. Sitting below them is the city of San Fransisco.

"Hey, Harry. Don't you think that it would like suspicious if we drove into town with bullet holes in the car?" Ron asks, still looking both ecstatic and a little traumatized over what just happened.

"Yes, Ron. I'm afraid that we're going to have to ditch this bus if we're to truly be rid of them." Harry answers.

Unfortunately, the others heard at and they stare at Harry incredulously. "We have to what? I would like to keep it." Neville says, but adds, "Maybe you're right. I'll see if I can fetch it later." The bus then sputters in protest before coming to a stop on the edge of a cliff. "Come on; I want to see juts how much damage we have."

Unfortunately, Ron was more right than even he guessed. Bullet holes riddle the doors and the outside looks like the bus had just driven through a war. "So how do we get rid of this bus without raising any suspicion?" Draco asks, looking amazed he didn't die in this attack.

Fred and George look at each other, and their eyes alight. "Hey guys. We would like to say-" Fred starts.

"That we have an idea." George finishes.

"We drive this car off the cliff like in action movies!" They said simultaneously.

"Okay, but the engine's busted, and we're not allowed to use magic in muggle areas. How do we get it off the cliff?" Neville asks.

"Guys, it's simple. We push it off the cliff together." Harry answers. He then gets to work pushing it with all his might. The others look at each other, with Draco muttering something under his breath, before they help out. They all grunt and heave for several minutes before the bus finally gives and starts rolling. Eventually, it falls off the cliff.

Then, like in the action movies, it slams into the ocean and causes an enormous splash. It just floats on top of the ocean's surface before it finally sinks into the water.

"Well, that takes care of that." Harry says, rubbing his hands together. He then adds, "So…who's up for a hotel stay?"

After several nods of agreement, the group makes their way to San Fransisco.

* * *

As a group, they walk down the dusty side of the road and toward the city. The city is vast with both tall and short buildings spread out everywhere. Heck, Harry can even see the Golden Gate Bridge and Alcatraz island from here. But in the distance, storm clouds start rolling in.

It took a long while, which felt even longer due to Ron's complaining about his foot aching due to exerting himself physically more than he's used to, but they manage to reach the city. It is filled with some nice people and…rather unpleasant-looking people, so we just walk past all of them without stopping. However, as they're walking down the roads, Ron stops. "Ron, what..." Draco demands before noticing the redhead ducking into a nearby alley and hiding behind a dumpster. The rest of the group look in the direction Ron was looking, and notice a tall man with a darker skin tone walking down the street. Once he passes, Ron steps back out and lets out a sigh of relief. "Who was that, and why are you nervous?"

"That man was there when I hired that stripper for our party. I was told me would find me and beat me within an inch of my life if she didn't come back by noon today." Ron answers nervously.

"Well, then I'd say you're screwed, little bruv." Fred and George say simultaneously. Once they continue their walk, completely undisturbed, they come to the Mariott hotel where Harry reserved a night.

"Well, this is it guys. We're here." Harry says and walks through the glass doors. The lobby is open and clean, with people sitting on couches nearby, laughing about whatever they are talking about. The group of secret wizards ignores it all as they go up to the man behind the desk. The man looks up at them and smiles.

"Welcome to Mariott hotel and suites! How can I help you?" He asks happily, but it's so forced it's almost painful.

"Yes, I am checking into my hotel room that I reserved for a night here." Harry answers, ignoring the man's tone.

"Alright. What's your name, sir?"

"Harry Potter." Harry says. To his relief, the clerk doesn't stiffen or look like he wants to bow down to him as the wizards back home are so fond of.

"Mr. Potter. You asked for a room with three king size beds, a sleeper sofa and a seaside view?" He asks for clarification.

"That's right."

"OK. You will be staying in Room 237 for a night. Here are the keys. Have a nice day."

With that done, Harry grabs all 6 room keys and walk down the halls to the elevators. Waiting for the door to open and the people to walk out, we walk on board. Harry pushes the button, and we ride up to the second floor. Heaving the bags they pulled out of their bus before it went bye-bye, they walk down the narrow hallways until we come to a room on the left. Taking the key from the pocket of his torn jeans, Harry inserts it into the key-slot and after opening the doors, walks right in.

The room is quite spacious, with three king beds lined up against the wall, and a large chair on the wall opposite them; directly next to it is a coffee table and a desk. On that same wall is a glass door that leads out onto a balcony which overlooks some of San Fransisco and the ocean.

Draco walks over to the nearest bed and sets his bag on it, already claiming dibs. "Alright. Let's get settled and finally get some real relaxation in." Ron said, falling back onto the middle bed.

"Oh, yeah. Ron?" George asks. "I got you a present; for doing such a great job on driving today." He then pulls out a blonde female doll dressed in the same dress as the one Ginny wore during Bill Weasley's wedding.

Ron takes at it warily, but takes it. The second his fingers touch it, it starts talking in a feminine voice. "Oh, Ron. Do you want to have some fun with me?"

"Wha..." Ron asks, shocked. "Did this thing just talk? Does it only follow a script?"

"Who are you calling scripting, Ronald Bilius Weasley? You should be careful what you say around us toys; we toys hear everything." Its head then spins around in a 360 motion. Ron just looks down at it, a little disturbed. "So, if you want to play with others, you'd better play nice." Her eyes, once shut, snap open instantly. Ron throws the doll down onto his bag, deeply horrified.

"I need a shower." He says, then sprints to the shower like the Devil is after him. George does everything in his power not to laugh at his brother's predicament.

"You're pure evil." Draco says, trying not to look amused by what happened. Harry then sits down on one of the beds and gets on the phone to order room service.

Of course, since room service is so expensive, they agree to go cheaper and get several appetizers, such as lots of chicken wings and mozzarella sticks. Once they eat our fair share, Harry takes the trays and sets them outside the room door. The beds are already occupied by the crew, who are already getting under the covers to get some sleep and wishing each other good night. Following their example, Harry walks back to his bed, get under the covers and tries to fall asleep.

But after an hour, Harry is still awake and staring up at the ceiling, eventually giving up on sleeping in the room. Ron's snoring is enough to drive anyone mad, but Fred and George included makes it borderline impossible; luckily for Draco and Neville, they are very heavy sleepers. Harry gets out of bed, grabs a blanket and a pillow and leaves the room. He wanders down the halls and finds a maintenance staircase. Climbing up the staircase for a while, I reach the top and open the door. The roof is flat, with lots of tubes running everywhere and a clear view of the city and the sky that is starting to cloud up. Harry walks over to one of the tubes and leans up against it. Spreading out my blanket and leaning my head back into the pillow Harry lays out, he stares up at the starry night sky.

Even though the sounds of the tubes hissing are a little annoying, Harry has found a decent place to sleep. As he stares up at the night sky, he notices the constellation Canis Major. A hint of sadness hits him as memories of his deceased godfather, Sirius Black, come back in detail. But he's in the past, and it's time to move on.

Feeling more content than Harry has felt in a long time, he close my eyes and drifts to sleep.

* * *

Several hours pass in my slumber, before he feels a hard hand shaking me madly. "Wake up." A voice borderline demands. Distantly recognizing it as Ron's voice, Harry opens his eyes, but is forced to shield them when the sun's blinding light hits him. Letting out a loud groan, Harry notices the moment he lowers his hands that his skin feels like it's on fire and looks down at his skin. To his horror, it is bright red. Harry looks up at Ron, who is staring at me, sheepishly. The rest of the gang are behind him.

"Well, Harry. I have to say you look like a big cherry now." Fred remarks.

"Ha ha. You guys snored so loudly, I come up here, only to have my skin turn red. Fantastic." Harry replies sarcastically, then starts getting up.

"Yes. We got to get you going. Your wedding is in three hours." Neville says with worry.

"What! Get out of my way, and first dibs on the bathroom." Harry shouts, then pushes past them as he runs down the stairwell, down the staircase and back into the room.

After a few seconds of getting everything together, Harry steps into the shower. Only now does he realize just how bad an idea it was, as he starts shrieking from the pain. By the time Harry finishes, he shuts off the water and gets his folded suit on, skin still seething with pain from the hot water.

"Ha ha. Very funny, waking me up when I'm like this." Harry says snarkily once the others make it back. Harry then notices that they're already dressed and ready.

Not wasting another minute after getting everything together, they take the elevator back to the lobby and Harry checks them out before they continue their trek. They walk down the busy sidewalks once more, past the people who are giving the group funny looks, and out of the city. On the top of a grassy hill overlooking the city is the alter. Everything is already set up and people are already getting seated on the many rows of chairs.

Ginny's friends are also present, helping set up. Since everyone has been to a wedding before, albeit a rushed one, they all know how it's supposed to be set up. Hermione is the first to notice Ron. "Ron!" She then frowns once she notices Harry. "Why are you all red?"

"Long story." He answers, before glaring at Ron and the twins subtly, "So…what can we do to help?"

For the remaining time before the big event, everyone is spread out and help set up the final touches. In addition, the last people start coming in, including Mr. and Mrs. Weasely.

But now, the big moment has come. Harry is standing on the alter, the cleric next to him, and everyone finishes getting seated. Suddenly, the music starts playing and Mr. Weasely is walking forward, Ginny at his side. In the long white dress, Harry has never seen her look better. The music ends, and Ginny walks in front of me and takes my hands.

"Harry, why are you all red?" she asks, concern in her voice.

But before he can respond, the cleric starts talking. The duo listen to him talking, then Harry and Ginny say our binding words.

"Do you, Harry Potter, take Ginny Weasely to be your wife?" The clerk asks.

"I do." He replies, never taking my eyes from Ginny.

"Do you, Ginny Weasely, take Harry Potter to be your husband?"

"I do." Ginny says, with equal confidence.

"You may kiss the bride." Without another word, they do so. As applause rings out all around them and the sun starts rising, they walk off the alter and a rather talented blues band Harry hired starts playing music.

Before Harry could join Ginny at the party, he notices his friends waving me over. "Hey, I want to see what my friends want. I'll be right back." Harry says, then walks over to them. "So guys, what do you want to talk about?"

"Well, we were trying to piece together what we can't remember last night." Fred starts, then pulls out a camera.

"Then we came across this...in your bag. From what we remember, we took pictures of several things that went down 2 nights ago." George finishes.

"So, we should see what went down then and make a non-magic pact to keep it between us?" Harry guesses.

"Yup." Neville answers simply. They then make the pact, with slight hesitation from Draco, and pull up the camera and scroll through the pictures.

"Whoa, man! I didn't know you made out with a girl." Neville says, teasing Fred who is blushing heavily.

"Hey, that reminds me. What do you think our former classmates are up to?" Draco asks.

"Eh, probably going back to England. But I want to join the party. See you." Ron says, then runs off to join Hermione.

"We should go, too. Don't want to make Ginny suspicious." Harry says, then runs after Ron to join in the celebration.

* * *

Meanwhile, on an uncharted desert island, the Revengers start waking up. "Ugh! I told you it was a bad idea to take a muggle boat back to England." Pansy says angrily. "Now, as a result, that storm swept us off course and stranded us on an island. To top it off, none of us have any training in apparition or making magical transports."

"But which island are we on?" Goyle asks, looking around the beach and setting his eyes on the wrecked boat.

"Well, let's explore the island and see what we find. And kill Justin for making us go through hell in the process next time we see him." Corner says, then the group starts walking into the jungle. Soon, they arrive at what looks like an old primitive camp. Sitting on a pile of rocks is a volley ball with a red face on it and spikes on the top. Behind it is a giant boulder, with tons of scratches on it. They know what Roman numerals are and what they stand for; and if the timetable is right, they are going to be here for quite a long time.

"Curse you, Potter!" Parkinson shouts angrily to the sky. "You and your insufferable friends might have had the best night of your lives to laugh at our bad luck, and for following an idiot. I hope you're happy, for when we get you, you will pay. Draco, honey, don't worry, I'll see you soon. I hope."

Of course, after many months on the island, they were discovered by the Magical Congress of the United States, and promptly thrown into prison for breaking the Statute of Secrecy.

* * *

 _ **THE END**_

* * *

 _AN:_ Well, this is the end of this story.

Please don't expect a new story for a good while. But I thank you all for reading this, and I thank you for every ounce of support you have given me and each review you post.

I will see you later.

-sonicXben

 _Revised: 18/05/23_


End file.
